Steele

Steele

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Мой сын в школе написал поэму

Пост про английскую поэзию и изучение языка в школе. Дело происходит в Австралии. Ребенку было дано задание написать поэму. Вот она:


The itchy–bitsy spider might not get to the roof


This tiny, wood spark spider looks like an oversized keyboard key


That position he is in, looks weirder than custom made tea


His curvy little legs have the same pattern as a bee


But because of its tiny size, he will come upon a grim deed


when a giant big bad foot will land right on it to make it bleed


or leave a mark and shine like human deed


А далее он написал пояснение:


WRITER’S STATEMENT


This specific image was selected for the reason of its simplicity. Especially since there always was a lingered thought of a small spider. The fancy look of the spider is also very eye–catching, even in such low quality of the image itself. The image was saved onto the page so the reader could easily refer to and from the writing. This title was chosen because it lined up perfectly with what the poem was about, and because the spider's image was “itchy” and “bitsy”. Also because the spider would get stomped on, therefore “will not get to the roof”. A title which was contemplated on about and rejected was just “Itchy–Bitsy Spider”, and it was rejected because it wasn't interesting enough for the poem. For similes, there wasn't an exact idea for what to write. The ideas came flying after several minutes of contemplation.


Intriguing vocabulary was searched for to make the poem more interesting, such as the line “custom made tea” or “the same pattern as a bee”, both were based on the most basic visual parts of the image, such as the size of the spider, or its pattern. Especially its pattern since it provided a very red and yellow back, which might of resulted in this simile being exceptional, and not just a random, odd variant. Some of the word choices may seem quite odd and random; for instance, the “keyboard key” may seem very modern and out of touch from this poem, as every other word utilised in the poem was mostly revolved around 'nature' and generally lighthearted things. “tea” and “bee” are the two which make you think of nature, whereas “keyboard key” seems slightly off with the rest of the poem. But it was decided to keep it, as it may be classified as something new, maybe even abstract. There is also the part where it says that the spider has been smashed with “human deed”. Since no other thoughts on interesting word choices were made, this one has been elected to play the role of the last word. “Deed” also sounds quite intimidating especially with the word “human” added to it.


Of course, some words were chosen for other sentences, but soon enough, were omitted. For instance, there was an idea of adding something more intimidating than “tea”, as the sentence enclosed on the position of the spider, and not quite its appearance. But some or maybe even most can say that “position” can be taken as, for example, the shape of the spider. Therefore, it would make sense to focus the simile on “weirder than custom made tea”, as it gives you the idea of the creamy/fancy shapes put into a cup of tea. Also, another reason for not choosing other words was because the structure of the sentence was already established, and no ideas were thought of which could perfectly apply to it. The conclusion for this insect is that the descriptions said previously in this statement were that this insect was designed to be seen as intimidating, but funnily weak and peasant–like, mostly because of how its size was described, and the way it was crushed by a human.


When the thought of changing these similes to metaphors came, it was first decided to practically “reverse” the poem. What is meant by this is that it was thought to reconstruct the words and sentence structure similar to how it was executed with the “example” poem. This decision was then temporarily rejected for the purpose of perhaps receiving a possible other thought with a more enhanced version of the execution of the metaphorical poem. There were thoughts of elaborating more on the words, but that was quickly trashed, as the ideas resulted in the rhyme to sound more like an overly simple and broken narrative. At the very end, the best idea was the one which was thought of first. The words were “reversed” and reconstructed.


The vocabulary utilised within this poem is what most people who'd see it believe that it stands out. And as described earlier, it contained words that had been taken simply from the spider's visual image. Except, the metaphorical poem had more interesting vocabulary not only within the similes, but with the general words within the sentences, such as the lines “little brawl” and “he might push something off the track”. Both of these lines are in fact interesting because nobody would want to see something such as “push another bug out of his way” or “fight like a spider he is” because it would feel and sound boring.


It was previously mentioned that the similes and metaphors had come to mind completely arbitrarily, but as a surprise, some actually were very thoughtful. For instance, there was a point where it was necessary to choose between the word “keyboard key” and just “key”. Even though this may sound a tad bit made up, but the image of the spider resembles a key with its shape, but it was decided to keep “keyboard key” for the sole reason of it being abstract. Now, to some metaphors, it was described previously that the poem was “reversed”. So words weren't exactly changed, but as said before, put into a different structure.


Vice versa was basically used to show the poem in a way that this spider is in fact equivalent to what it is compared to. Even though some lines were slightly changed, such as the third and fourth line, most of the poem was kept with the same to create the vision of that this spider is (once again) no different to what it is compared to.


It was attempted to try and give the line “fancy tart” to something similar to a bee, but the attempts never resulted in a positive outcome, as none of it rhymed. For the fourth line it wasn't really attempted to keep it the same, since there was a thought of adding more action to the scene of this spider, making him look stronger than “weak and peasant–like”.


As shown in the statements above, the vocabulary was admired; therefore vocabulary is what is believed to be something that was done well in the poems.


Barely any difficulties had hit when these poems were in the process of writing, the most that was ever faced was the selection of the image; the first attempts at finding the image failed, as no thoughts about anything selected previously had flown into the mind. The problem was then, and of course, solved as an image was found which worked out perfectly to match the upcoming thoughts.


More effort would definitely be put into these poems, and a deeper thought would be present if these poems were to be re–written.


This assignment isn't the only reason there is now an understanding of similes and metaphors, it is also because of the general work done in class (using textbooks). Similes are basically the descriptions given to an object/living, or better, a comparison of that thing to another. Metaphors are to describe and identify that thing to the other.


It has helped the view and understanding of similes and metaphors, by the requirement to describe it in such detail, but what would've been a much better (opinionated) way to get students into giving even MORE detail, is to make them take more time on their poems for the sake of a better result.


The level of learning was improved slightly, as it was required to choose specific words to modify/enhance my writing to hold a better understanding for the reader.


The blank expression held throughout most of this assignment would in appearance frighten someone, but it does not disregard the fact that this assignment is important for education and generally identifying/analysing a poem.


Вот как они учат язык в школе. Ребенку 13 лет, английский для него не родной язык, дома говорим по русски. Честно говоря я бы даже на русском не смог так расписать суть четырех стихотворных предложения

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